Privacy Policy
§1. What We Collect, With Love
We collect your name, your return address, the names and ages of the children in your household, your preferred Terror Clown™ configuration, and a chronological record of your correspondence with our Customer Letters Department. We do not collect your saliva, your dental impressions, or your most private fears. Please stop writing to ask.
§2. Your Child's Data Is Family
Information about children in the household is maintained in the Pennywhistle family archive, a hand-indexed ledger kept at our Millbrook workshop. We treat your child's data with the care and confidentiality we would extend to our own children, many of whom have their own Terror Clown™ companions.
§3. Cookies, the Edible Kind (Mostly)
Our website uses standard session cookies to maintain your Pouch Rack across pages. We do not use third-party advertising cookies. The cookies we do use are disclosed in the Specific Industries umbrella policy above. The Pennywhistle office staff receives a complimentary tin of butter cookies from a Millbrook bakery each December, which we also do not share with third parties.
§4. Your Rights as a Guardian
You may request a copy of your file at any time by writing to the Customer Letters Department. You may also request deletion of your file, though we note that files older than seventy-five years are considered historical and are preserved in the Pennywhistle archive under standard archival practices.
§5. Third-Party Sharing
We share limited data with our Pennywhistle-certified installation crews and with the American Academy of Childhood Companionship, for credentialing purposes. We do not share data with advertisers, with data brokers, or with any third party for the purposes of profiling. We have never done so. We would not know how.
§6. Retention
We retain your data for the duration of the Pennywhistle relationship, which is to say: as long as your household contains any Pennywhistle product. Given the lifetime warranty on Terror Clown™, this is typically indefinite. We are comfortable with this.
§7. Security
Customer records are kept in a climate-controlled archival room at the Millbrook workshop. The room is protected by a standard lock, a century-old ledger system, and the continued good faith of our staff. We take data security as seriously as we take any matter of craft.